A heartbreak can be a bitch. Especially if the person responsible for it was your everything. There are so many stages that you pass through -denial, extreme sadness, insecurity and loss of self-esteem, depression, self-guilt that leave you feeling like absolute shit.

Once upon a time, you loved a guy who you thought loved you back. He was your dream come true and there was chemistry and tingly sensations. Now he’s gone and your fragile heart has been shattered into tiny micro pieces. You are lost without him. If only you were a better person…

Okay, stop.

Do not think like that. I’ll be here for your crybaby ass because I know how damaging a heartbreak can be. But this isn’t about me. This is about you, beautiful person, and that heart of yours that has beem severely wounded.

You need to know and understand and practise four important things.

  • Wipe him out. Everything he gave you goes. Burn them, give them to charity, give them out to distant relatives. No matter how pretty those things are, they need to go. And not just material things. Clear your call log, delete his number, delete his messages, pictures, videos and anything that would remind you of him. If it’s your pillowcase that smells like him, throw the thing away too.
  • Delete all your social media. Social media would destroy you. Let it all go. Whatsapp, Blackberry Messenger, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. They are low-key social vices anyway. After a bad breakup, the average girl is in a very fragile state. Her self esteem is at 0 and her emotions are at level 6436183464816. The social media should go, at least for now.
  • Do something with yourself. Whether it is going to a different place and having lunch there every weekend or starting a blog, make sure you are constantly doing something. It takes your mind off him and directs all that negative energy you have bottled up inside you to something productive. It could be anything, really, as long as it has you occupied. I have a couple of productive activities you can do. Just click here.
  • Cry. Do not listen to anyone telling you to be strong or any of that crap. You need to let all of that hurt out somehow. You are a female, you are programmed to let your emotions out with a certain level of intensity. Do not hold it back, it would just make you feel worse. Listen to slow songs and cry. Let it all out, baby. The faster it is out of your system, the better your life would be.

Advice, have a friend you can always talk to when you start feeling terrible about the whole thing. If you have no friends that would stay by your side throughout your traumas and repeated talks about a guy, then shoot the m*@$!”%€~>r in the head and get a diary. Or you can just talk to me instead through email. I’ll leave the address at the end of this post.

These steps to emotional liberty may seem pretty small and ineffective. But they are as effective as anything. Just do them religiously and constantly and you’ll be over him in five-six years. Not really, you’ll be done with the assh@$e in a month or less.

Stay beautiful, baby girl. You’ll get through this, I promise.

This is my personal email: toyin.ajewole@gmail.com.