I am not a very big fan of men or relationships, so I have learned to look out for my own self and not depend on anyone for my happiness.
So, while my mates were busy getting together with guys and getting their hearts broken, I was picking up the pieces of my life and getting them back together in a way that looked pretty to me. I taught myself a bunch of things and worked on the ones I knew already.
Have I ever been in a relationship? Of course, I have. If I hadn’t, I won’t be able to write this post. He was bad for me and the relationship lasted a total of two weeks.
Let’s get into it. Sure, you probably feel you need significant other, but listen, you are better off single because:
1. No one understands you better than you. If you are a complicated little thing like me, you would realize that no one really gets you, especially your boyfriend. You know how your mind works, what makes you angry, what drives you, the reason why you stay up at night crying, why you are over-eating, why you feel so stressed and so on. You know you. Remember the last time you tried to explain your feelings to him and how he came off as insensitive when he did not understand how exactly you were feeling? Remember that little but evident stab of hurt in your chest when he misunderstood you? What these guys do not know is that each time you get misunderstood, it hurts a little. So why put yourself up for that hurt?
2. You can completely focus on you. In How To Be Single, Alice realised she had to find herself. And she had the common sense to know that she could not find herself while in a relationship. So she told Josh to give her some time off, to take a breather, to discover who she really was. When you are discovering yourself, you do not need any kind of distraction, and distractions include boyfriends. Which is why you are told to clear your mind before yoga. You need to get things off your mind first before you can completely focus on your yoga. In the same way, you need to get all forms of distraction out of your life before you can focus on you.
3. You get to wear what you want and go where you want. Some boyfriends do not allow their girlfriends wear some certain clothes to go out. Guys get jealous like that. They do not want other guys to see you all sexy and prepped up because “your body belongs to him“. You do not want that kind of restriction. Your body belongs to you and you want to wear whatever you want to feel as sexy as you want whenever you want. You also get to go wherever you want. An impromptu trip? You should be free to go wherever you desire. Having a boyfriend restricts a lot of these things.
4. You are less likely to get hurt. If you are not holding fire, you won’t get burnt. If you don’t have a guy you are romantically attached to, you won’t get hurt. It is as simple as that. He doesn’t have to breakup with you before you can get hurt. Simple things like not putting your pictures all over his social media like he does with other girls’ pictures and not remembering your birthday. Things like not being able to spend Friday night in with you because he had some reunion or guy-thing to attend and not remembering that you prefer blue to pink even after you’ve been together for three months. The littlest things, I guess hurt the most. So why put yourself up for all that hurt when you can still be happy being alone? Your happiness does not depend on anyone. It depends all on you. You do not need a man to be truly happy. You can avoid all that pain and hurt and depression, so why don’t you?
5. You can flirt shamelessly with other guys without comvictions. I had to stop myself from saying anything relatively suggestive to any other guy when I was in a relationship. It was hard because I was so used to it. My head is always filled with sexual innuendos and pick-up lines. After a while, I got tired of it, especially when I discovered my boyfriend wasn’t been as cautious with other girls. Your wedding is a long time from now, baby gurl. Do not spend your precious youthful years cuddled up with some guy who has no plans to marry you. Get out there and be shameless. Turn the charm on. Have fun!
6. You can read for your exams with a clear mind. If you have read the success stories of any of the best graduating students from a Nigerian university, you would notice that most of them -if not all, were not in any form of relationship for the duration of their study. Not being in relationships helped them completely focus on their education. Imagine if just before your finals, you break up with your boyfriend of two years. If this has never happened to you, you would simply shrug it off as one of those things that you can easily deal with and move on.
It’s not one of those things you can easily deal with and move on. A guy suddenly became cold on me once and I skipped two classes because I was feeling too emotional. So I stayed in an empty classroom instead and cried my heart out while listening to ‘Locked Away’. And it wasn’t even a breakup. It doesn’t even have to be a breakup that takes your mind off school work. It could be you thinking of the steamy sex you had the night before or recalling the argument you had just that morning and thinking of how you are right and he is wrong. It could be anything. But whatever it may be, it would be distracting.
7. You can live the wild life. Girls of this century are pretty wild, ha-ha. It is not a bad thing, do not get me wrong. Having a boyfriend would hinder you from being as wild as you want, the same way being his girlfriend would stop him from being as wild as he wants. And if you are someone’s girlfriend and still living a wild life, you need to examine that relationship again. Wild life is a collective name for all your drinking Vodka, grinding strange men in some club at Lekki, having drunk unprotected sex with a random guy in the toilet while a party goes on in living room, kissing a girl because you were dared to and doing stripper routines in a circle of equally wild people while money is being thrown on you. You can be as wild as you want when you are single.
You know how boring your friends become when they have a boyfriend? Do you want to be boring like that?
7. You have more time to hang out with your friends and see other people. Ladies’ Night Out? Blind dates? Random hookups? You would be free to do all of this when you are single. You can always have fun with your friends all weekend without having to think of the boyfriend you left back at home. You can go out with as many guys as you want to, hook up with them if you want and if possible, get pregnant. You can even become a star’s baby mama. Ha-ha, I’m kidding.
8. You can become the girl-boss you always dreamed of becoming. Again, you get to follow your dreams without distractions. If you watch the TV series, Hush, you should remember the time Koko decided to start a business with her moron ex-boyfriend, Ike and when the truth came out that she had been sleeping with her boss, Ike abandoned her and cancelled the loan she had requested for to get the business going. So he left her broke and in a lot of debt. All her sewing equipment was taken away because she did not have funds to pay for them as she bought them on credit. If you want to chase your dreams, do it single and instead, have brilliant friends and an elder you can get advice from.
Well, there you have it. Being single would prevent your life from getting too complicated. You can think and breathe clearly. You can be as crazy as you want and hook up with whoever. If you had any doubts, I hope this post was convincing enough.